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Toddler Night Terrors, Nightmares and Bedtime Fears: How to Help
Back to Baby Sleep
There's nothing quite like being jolted awake by a scream from down the hall. You rush in to find your little one sitting up, eyes wide, crying, and they don't even seem to know you're there. Or maybe bedtime itself has become the battle, with monsters under the bed and a toddler who suddenly won't let you leave the room. Night terrors, nightmares and bedtime fears are all really common in toddlers, and the good news is that each one has a different, simple way to help. Here's how to tell them apart and what to do.
The short answer
Night terrors happen when a child partly wakes from deep sleep. They might scream, thrash or look terrified, but they're still asleep, won't respond to you and won't remember it in the morning. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says most night terrors are short, and children usually fall right back to sleep. Don't try to wake them: stay close, keep them safe and let it pass. Nightmares are bad dreams that do wake your child, and they'll want comfort and reassurance. Both are common in toddlers, and most children grow out of them.
What Are Night Terrors?
A night terror is when a child suddenly becomes very upset while they're still asleep. They might scream, cry, sit bolt upright, thrash about or look frightened with their eyes wide open. It can be really distressing to watch, but your child isn't actually awake, isn't having a bad dream and won't remember it the next day.
According to the AAP, night terrors can last as long as 45 minutes, though most are much shorter. Common triggers include being overtired, a change in routine, being unwell and a family history of night terrors or sleepwalking. They can look alarming, but they don't harm your child, and most kids outgrow them.
Night Terrors vs Nightmares: What's the Difference?
They're easy to mix up in the middle of the night, but they're quite different, and the right response is different too:
Night Terrors vs Nightmares
A quick guide for the middle of the night:
| Night terror | Nightmare | |
|---|---|---|
| Is my child awake? | No. They're still asleep, even if their eyes are open | Yes. The dream wakes them up |
| Will they respond to me? | Usually not, and may push you away | Yes, and they'll want comfort |
| Will they remember it? | No | Often, especially older toddlers |
| What should I do? | Don't wake them. Stay close and keep them safe | Comfort and reassure them |
Sources: AAP, KidsHealth.
What to Do During a Night Terror
It goes against every instinct, but the best thing you can do during a night terror is very little. KidsHealth from Nemours recommends:
- Don't try to wake them. It usually doesn't work, and kids who do wake tend to be confused and upset, and take longer to settle.
- Sit quietly nearby and stay calm.
- Keep them safe. Make sure they don't get hurt if they thrash or move around, and that stairs and outside doors are secure.
- Wait it out. Most children settle back to sleep within a few minutes.
- Tell your babysitter what night terrors look like and what to do, as the AAP suggests.
If your child has a night terror around the same time every night, KidsHealth suggests gently waking them about 15 to 30 minutes beforehand to see if it helps prevent it.
They Won't Remember It (Even If You Will)
Night terrors are usually far harder on parents than on the child. Your little one will most likely wake up the next morning with no idea anything happened, so try not to bring it up or worry them about it.
How to Help After a Nightmare
Nightmares are scary dreams, and unlike night terrors, they wake your child up feeling frightened. Young children can't always tell the difference between a dream and real life, so they need your help to feel safe again.
- Go to them quickly and offer a cuddle and calm reassurance.
- Keep it short and soothing. Let them know it was a dream and that they're safe, then settle them back in their own bed.
- Leave the door open or a dim night-light on if it helps them feel better.
- Talk about it in the morning if they want to. Drawing the dream and "fixing" the ending can help older toddlers feel more in control.
Why Is My Toddler Scared of Bedtime?
Bedtime fears often show up from around 2 years old, right as your toddler's imagination takes off. The same creativity that turns a cardboard box into a spaceship can turn a dark corner into a monster. Common triggers include:
- Imaginative play about "baddies", dragons or monsters
- A scary scene in a show, film or book
- Overhearing news or grown-up conversations they don't understand
- Big changes, like a new sibling, starting daycare or moving house
- Simply not liking the dark, or not wanting to be apart from you
These fears are a normal part of development, and they usually ease with time, patience and a predictable bedtime.
How to Help Your Toddler Feel Safe at Bedtime
- Take the fear seriously. "There's no such thing as monsters" rarely helps. Listen, acknowledge the feeling and reassure them that you're close by and they're safe.
- Keep explanations short and simple, then gently move their focus to something they love.
- Try a soft, dim night-light if the dark is the problem.
- Stick to a calm, predictable routine. Bath, sleepwear, story, cuddle, bed, in the same order every night. Predictability feels safe.
- Add a goodnight ritual, like a special song or phrase you say every night before lights out.
- Switch off screens well before bed, and steer clear of anything scary in the evening.
- Make sure they're getting enough sleep. Overtiredness can make both fears and night terrors worse. Our guide to how much sleep toddlers need can help.
- Use a familiar sleep cue. Zipping into the same cozy toddler sleep bag every night tells their body it's time to rest, and can feel like a reassuring hug.
Make bedtime feel safe and snug
When to Talk to Your Pediatrician
Night terrors, nightmares and bedtime fears are a normal part of growing up, but KidsHealth suggests checking in with your pediatrician if:
- night terrors last longer than 30 minutes, happen more than once a week or stop your child getting enough sleep
- your child seems very sad, fearful or stressed during the day
- your child drools, stiffens or jerks during a night terror
- your child snores or seems to have trouble breathing while asleep
- fears around bedtime don't ease with comfort and a calm routine
Keeping a simple sleep diary of when your child sleeps and when the night terrors happen can be helpful to bring along to the appointment.
FAQs About Night Terrors and Nightmares
What is bedtime anxiety?
Bedtime anxiety is when a child feels worried or scared at bedtime, often about the dark, being alone or being apart from you. It's very common from around 2 years old, as their imagination develops. A calm, predictable routine, a soft night-light and plenty of reassurance usually help. If it's ongoing or getting worse, talk to your pediatrician.
When do kids get scared of the dark?
Fear of the dark often starts from around 2 years old, as a toddler's imagination takes off. It's a normal stage of development, and it usually eases with time, reassurance and a dim night-light.
Why is my toddler screaming at bedtime?
Common reasons include being overtired, not wanting to be apart from you, a growing fear of the dark, or simply not being ready for sleep. If your toddler screams while they're still asleep and doesn't respond to you, it may be a night terror instead. A consistent wind-down routine and calm reassurance help most toddlers settle.
What's the difference between night terrors and nightmares?
During a night terror your child is still asleep, won't respond to you and won't remember it. A nightmare is a bad dream that wakes your child up, and they'll usually want comfort.
Should I wake my child during a night terror?
No. Waking them usually makes them more confused and upset. Stay close, keep them safe and let the night terror pass.
What age do night terrors start?
Night terrors are most common in toddlers and preschoolers, and most kids outgrow them.
Key Takeaway
Night terrors look scary, but your child is asleep and won't remember them, so stay close, keep them safe and don't wake them. Nightmares and bedtime fears need the opposite: comfort, reassurance and a calm, predictable routine. Both are a normal part of growing up, and with a little patience (and maybe a night-light), most toddlers leave them behind.
Looking for more help with toddler sleep? Explore the Love to Dream baby sleep blog.